Walter Assum, born April 16, 1932 Germany. This man was my father-in-law. he left us far too soon.
He seemed to be a man to fear, he was intimidating. He liked his drink as many southern German men do. He liked his singing club, they would meet and bellow out German songs and well, get drunk.
I can not imagine his younger self, he grew up in a very different Germany than we see today. His youth was spent surviving WWII. His younger teen years were spent rebuilding his war torn country. He was too young to have served in the war, but was educated knowing who his enemies were.
Upon my 1st meeting him, I was frightened. Having heard stories about him, then going into his home and telling him I was dating his daughter, man o man, I was a nervous wreck.
As I expected when he saw me sitting there in his living room, was to roar and yell at me to get out of his house! “Rouse mine house” he bellowed. My savior was his wife. She pointed to the sofa with a sharp pointing motion for me to remain seated. Not knowing a word of German I was so confused. here he was yelling at me to leave, and his wife motioning very severely to remain seated.
He left the room going to his bedroom with a very loud banging of the door. Muffled words could be heard across the house. Loud muffled voices! I wanted to flee.
That was my introduction to a man whom I came to respect. A man who allowed the enemy into his home and marry his daughter. And a man who overcame all his preconceived prejudices to eventually fly to America and see his daughter there.
When asked to marry his daughter his response was that I could marry her on a condition. See, we planned to run off to America and get married as it was a path of least resistance. Marrying a German national as an American in Germany, well, Germans love their bureaucracy will sum that up. His condition was that we also marry in the local Church and have a traditional German wedding. He was a very traditional man. We agreed.
There are dozens of stories I can tell that cover the years. However two stand out very clear.
One, when Sonja and I married, we rented an apartment. When you rent an apartment in Germany you typically have to rebuild it. Kitchen cabinets and all. So, we had to add some new power outlets. Homes in Germany are brick, so it would mean cutting channels in the walls to add circuits.
But first he wanted me to test the outlets to see that they had electricity. I was young and smart and knew everything, so I knew what I was doing! I showed him the 110 voltage tester I had, he looked at, handed it back to me, and proceeded to step back away from me. I should have taken the cue. I bent over stuck that 110 volt pen tester into the 240 outlet, and next thing I knew I was on my ass in the middle of the room with a burnt taste in my mouth! Never have I heard a man laugh so loud and long. he was quite amused that I about died right then and there.
Second strong memory is when he came here to the U.S. he was like a kid in a candy store, everything amazed him. He tried to take it all in. We traveled and tried to maximize his time here, NYC, up to the top of the twin towers, Niagara Falls, Maine, and parts in between. He could not get enough.
We had just built a house, and in the development homes were still in various stages of construction. he could not get over asking me why are the houses made of sticks? He could not understand how they could stand up or last any time at all. Stick houses he called them. Wouldn’t they blow away with the wind?
When our son was still small, he would tell us his dreams. And sometimes he dreamed Walter spoke to him and told him things. Walter passed long before our son was born, so we still wonder about that.
Well, I miss him. He left us far too soon, and I often wonder who he would be today. It amazes me everyday how he overcame so many obstacles. He tore down so many walls. A lesson for us still.
